Mondays: Donald Trump
You know they’re coming, but you still fear and dread them. You don’t really understand people who like them, but trust me – there are plenty who do. You’re vocal about your opposition towards them, but for some reason they keep coming around and nobody knows why we haven’t just gotten rid of them yet.
Tuesdays: Ted Cruz
Almost exactly like Mondays except second.
Wednesdays: Hillary Clinton
Although we might not necessarily look forward to this day, we are welcoming of it’s presence. Ironically known as “hump day,” these don’t really have a consistent past. Sometimes they’re fun, easy going and all about everything you’re all about. Other times they are so boring and stressful, and sometimes they are a combination of both that just leaves you confused and not sure how to feel about them.
Thursdays: John Kasich
Nobody has anything really to say about Thursdays. In fact, some people probably forget about them all together until, for some strange reason, something good randomly happens that nobody can really explain. For the most part though, they’re just another day between Monday and Friday.
Fridays: Marco Rubio
It’s actually perfect because everybody knows Fridays are for skipping out on important things in order to focus on other things, but it’s okay because they’re near the end of the week anyway. These could go either way. Technically, they’re still part of the week, but can also be considered a weekend. You love it when there’s nobody around, but pander to the crowd you’re with and vocalize opinions and policies depending on how the day is going.
Saturdays: Bernie Sanders
This is the craziest day of the week. Nobody knows what’s gonna happen, but we all know that it’s going to be entertaining and wild. A favorite of many young people, these days don’t really play by the rules. In fact, I think most of us would agree that Saturdays fall into an entirely different category. Some people are afraid of Saturdays, and instead of going out and celebrating them, they stay inside and just wait for Sunday to come around and calm them down. One thing is for sure though: Mondays and Saturdays are really the antithesis of each other, on complete opposite ends of the spectrum…at least politically.
Sundays: Ben Carson
Considered by most to be the most religious of all the days, these are meant to be the days of rest, where you don’t do anything. Literally nothing. Absolutely nothing. Except maybe once you did that one cool thing and there might have been a movie made out of it, but other than that really nothing that qualifies you to run a country or something. This day is just all about kicking back and waiting to see what the next day brings, because as we ALL know those Mondays are so unpredictable.