There are a lot of things I want my sister to know. It’s not just the typical, “You are beautiful, don’t let a boy define you, stick to your morals,” type of stuff, though. It’s deeper than that.

My sister is adopted. She doesn’t quite look like us, but she doesn’t look different enough for anyone to ask yet. She is only eight. I think a lot of stereotypes come with adoptions, and more often than not, they aren’t good. Things like: “She’ll never be the same as a biological sister.”

I guess that’s true, if you want to only look at the DNA.

I’m sure a lot of you are open mouthed and gasping right now that I could say my sister is not and could never be my biological sister. And that is okay. You don’t quite understand the love I have for that little girl.

There are four things I want my sister to know about her life with us. There are four things I want her to understand with her full heart, without any reservations and without any doubt.


  1. You are loved more than you could ever imagine by a family that is blessed by you every day.

I still remember the day Mom told Jake and me that we got to keep you. I say it in those words because it felt like Christmas morning when your dad gets you a puppy but hasn’t run it by your mom yet so when you open it, you look longingly into your mother’s eyes, begging with every inch of your soul for her to let you keep it. That’s how I felt the moment I laid eyes on you. I looked at Mom with a desire to hold you in my heart and in my arms forever. I longed to grow up with you, to protect you and to love you more than you could ever imagine or hope for. I want you to know that I love you with every part of my being and with every piece of my heart. Never forget that.


  1. You are a light in this dark world and I pray it will never go out.

It was a school day. I remember because you were wearing your cute red polo and khaki uniform pants. You sat on the kitchen stool and drew a picture of you and your best friend. You told me that you didn’t know why some people talked about how dark her skin was. Your skin got dark during the summer too — you thought this happened to everybody.

I will never be able to comprehend your heart. God gave you a big one. He gave you something most people try and search for their entire lives. He gave you a loving soul with the brightest light I have ever seen. Never let it go out.


  1. Angela was wonderful.

Your biological mother was loving. She loved you so very much. She loved you so much that she gave you to us so that we could love and cherish you even more. She wanted to give you the best life you could possibly have and I thank her every single day for that sacrifice. Never feel unwanted. You are loved.


  1. You are greater than blood because we chose you.

Blood is such a fickle substance. It comes and goes and rejuvenates itself once it leaves. It never stays in the same place for very long. And if it does, you’re probably in trouble. You are greater than blood because our life with you will never be fickle. Our life with you will be consistent, loving and compassionate. Our life with you will be forever because we got to choose you.

I have always been jealous of you for that. Mom and Dad got stuck with me. They didn’t really have a choice. They had to put a smile on their face because there were no returns and no take-backs. Thank goodness, because Mom and Dad are everything anyone could hope for; you’ll figure that out in a few years. With you, they got to walk in and pick out exactly who they wanted. They got to pick out the perfect angel that would complete our family.

Sophie, I want you to know I will love you forever. I want you to know you are my sister and I couldn’t imagine a world without you. I want you to know that we prayed for you to come into our lives for five years. I adore every ounce of you. Thank you for being you.