As women, we generally get anxious, excited and nervous at the prospect of going out with a guy for the first time — this might lead to some basic sense going out the window. That being said, there are definitely some things to avoid on a first date. Here are 10 helpful reminders so that you and your date can avoid unnecessary first-date tension, and hopefully relax and enjoy each other’s company and see where it goes (or doesn’t.)

1. DON’T ride with him (if you don’t know him very well.) Drive yourself and meet him there. That way he doesn’t know where you live, and you aren’t relying on him to take you home if the date tanks. 

2. DON’T ask about other girls he’s dated. This is a first date. It’s only about you and him. The focus should be on the two of you connecting, not on his failed past relationships or yours for that matter.

3. DON’T talk about your ex, or your best guy friend, or other guys in general. Don’t make him think he should be competing for your attention. The boy is probably already stressed just trying to figure out if you’re having a good time or not. Talking about other guys could give him the wrong first impression.

4. DON’T give your entire life story and personality profile. This is a date, not speech class. How are you going to know if he’s genuinely interested in you if you don’t give him a chance to be? Let him learn about you through conversation and questions. The best relationships are formed naturally and over time, and a little mystery never hurt anyone.

5. DON’T order the most expensive thing on the menu just because he’s paying. If you wouldn’t pay 15 bucks for a salad, don’t make him. He’s probably a college student on a budget, too.  

6. DON’T expect him to pay in the first place. If he’s a true gentleman, he’ll pay. But don’t avoid eye contact when the check comes. Be polite and engage. If he does pay for your meal, offer to pay the tip. If you choose to pay for yourself, you go girl.

7. DON’T lie and say you want to “do this again sometime” if you actually don’t. Don’t waste anyone’s time on another date you know isn’t going to go anywhere.

8. DON’T fake interests. Guys can totally tell if you aren’t actually into something. It won’t matter if you casually throw names and stats around, or if you pretend to listen to his favorite rapper. They can just tell.

9. DON’T be afraid to say no. To anything. If he’s being forward and you’re uncomfortable, stand on your convictions and stick to your gut. Have confidence and feel empowered to make it clear if you’re not into the direction the date may be going.

10. DON’T be afraid to be yourself. Ever. Of all the first date don’ts, this is the most important. If you don’t feel comfortable being yourself around him, or he doesn’t accept you as you are, there shouldn’t even be a second date.

Be confident and be bold, girl. You got this.

Photo Credit: Michaela Schirra