By Maddie Gee
I have always been a romantic — an unwavering believer that my life would be something straight out of a Nicholas Sparks movie and no one was going to stop me. I tried to find that fantasy in any person that looked my way. I was ready to be in a relationship.
All throughout middle and high school, I was the person who threw my heart away to someone. They would laugh and tear it into pieces. Every single time I would be surprised and confused as to why no one seemed to be as giving and loving as I was.
Around my senior year of high school, I gave up. I had college, test scores and a billion other things to worry about. Who cared if I was single? I had better things to do. But, as much as I tried to defy my open heart, I still had hope that someday someone would want the fairytale as much as I did. Then one day… it happened.
It really was straight out of a movie at first. I had never experienced anything like it. We just clicked right off the bat. He had my screwed up sense of humor, got my Vine references and accepted my diet of Chick-fil-A and Pop Tarts. Most importantly though, it was how he looked at me. It was like I could do no wrong and I was the most perfect thing in the world. Despite all that, we did not get a happy ending.
The breakup came suddenly and I was not prepared at all. I experienced that same feeling I had when others had stomped on my heart, but a trillion times worse. I felt like I was locked in a burning building and my anxiety and depression were constantly pouring gasoline on the fire. I talked it out with those close to me, but I felt like I had no one to turn to when the lonely nights hit and the darkness snuck up on me — that was until I discovered R.H. Sin and Rupi Kaur.
I have always been a poetry reader. I read it all the time in elementary school. Eventually, I moved onto romance novels (I know, totally unbelievable). One of my friends who was going through a similar situation was praising these authors and saying how they had changed her life. I decided that I would give Sin and Kaur a chance.
It was one of the best decisions I have ever made.
I have always heard other people talk about how a certain book, passage or poem had changed their lives; but I had never truly experienced it until I read “Whiskey Words and a Shovel I” by R.H. Sin and “Milk and Honey” by Rupi Kaur. It felt like they were looking at my life and giving me exactly what I needed.
After the breakup, I didn’t know who I was. I gave so much of myself to this other person that I felt like I didn’t have anything left. When I started to read the encouraging words of Sin and Kaur, however, I felt like I was finding myself again. I was devoting an hour a day to just sit back, light a candle and read their books. I wasn’t just reading poetry — I was being healed.
Poetry has a way of curing you when you feel like nothing else can. To give you hope when you desperately need it. To provide a way out from the darkness when you don’t see one.
When I felt like I wasn’t going to make it through my heartbreak and feared that I would never feel like the smiley and happy Maddie again, the words of Kaur and Sin reminded me that there is strength in loneliness — and that finding yourself again is one of the hardest but most rewarding tasks in the world. They changed my life.
I hope they change yours too.