By Olivia Bragg
You would think we’d been best friends for years.
Especially if you walked into our room the night we acted out the entire “So Long, Farewell” scene from the Sound of Music – harmonies and dance included. I was Gretl and at the end, Brooke picked me up like Liesel did in the film.
The truth is, my roommate and I met for the first time in July at Six Flags – the first of many “roommate dates.”
After praying for months and with a last-ditch-effort direct messaging her on Twitter, I found Brooke. Whenever people ask me about my roommate, I tell them the truth: It’s like I pictured my perfect roommate and God said, “I can do better.”
Most of my friends get along well with their roommates, but I’ve also heard the potluck horror stories and best-friend-turned-rival fiascos. Not everyone has a roommate love story, but these anecdotes cover the full spectrum of roommate testimonies.
The To-Go Boxer
“I don’t know that she owned a toothbrush because I never saw one. She never wore deodorant. Maybe she showered once every other week – I’m not exaggerating. She never did her laundry. She loved vinegar so she would put vinegar in everything – in her ramen noodles, everything. She would go to the dining hall and get a huge to-go box full of food and eat some of it, close the to-go box and put it under her bed, wake up six hours later, grab the to go-box and start eating out of it again. She had stacks of like 10 to-go boxes.
She would have half-eaten pickles just sitting around. You could smell it outside of our room, but she never left the room, so nobody ever saw her, so I think everyone thought it was me. All her stuff was pushed over to where I could barely get to my bed. She didn’t realize she spilled a [bottle] of tea until it was move-out. She had to use industrial strength cleaner to get it up.
My very first roommate ever. I told my friends in high school that [I was] going to have a horror story roommate. It happened.”
“First thing I noticed about my roommate is she talks to herself. A lot. There’s a lot of times where I’ll just be studying and doing homework and she’ll just start talking and I’ll look over to respond and then I realize she wasn’t referencing me.”
“[My roommate] posted something like, ‘Oh my gosh! Check out my new puppy!’ Didn’t ask permission, didn’t even inform me. Just made a post about it on Facebook. And I get back to our apartment and I’m like, ‘We’re at school, we’re studying all the time. We both have jobs and how on earth are you going to take care of a puppy? A baby puppy!’ And she was all offended and I wasn’t thrilled about it and I was like, ‘We’re not even supposed to have a dog in here. It’s against our lease agreement.’ Oh, and we were on the third floor so you had to walk all the way down to the tiny patch of grass to let the dog go to the bathroom. Dog didn’t go in the grass – dog didn’t like the grass. I don’t know how long it lasted. Maybe a month and she had to send it back.”
“So the people that live above us are so loud so we always joke that they bowl whenever we’re trying to go to sleep. So I think we bond whenever we hit the ceiling. And we always go up and stand on our bed and just smack the ceiling with something and we’ll yell really loudly like, ‘Wow, that’s really loud! What are you doing up there? Can we come bowl?’”
“So one night one of my roommates and I, we were in our living room and we were just full out dancing for three straight hours. Because we were on the fourth floor, it was pretty easy to see our dorm so we were trying to get people’s attention as they walk by and we saw these two guys stop and look up to us, so of course we started dancing even more. They finally started walking away and then we get this knock at the door. It was the two guys who had looked up and saw us. So by the end of the night, he ended up giving us his number and where he lived and he randomly, he just had skittles in his pocket, and he gave us this bag of skittles. We danced so much, I ended up getting the huge blister on my toe. It got to the point where I literally could not dance anymore.”