By Sukhi Borse |
It was around this time last year where I constantly found myself asking the question: What am I doing with my life?
Interestingly enough, my doubt was not out of the blue. Rewind two and a half months to the beginning of the school year, I was a starry-eyed, pre-med freshman, enjoying the first few weeks of my new freedom at college. As the semester continued, the excitement faded, and I was questioning all of my decisions.
My course load was, obviously, science and math heavy, and I was continuously confused as to why I absolutely had no spark of curiosity in any of my science courses; instead, I was engaging with the power of effective writing in my rhetoric course.
This realization made my world turn upside down.
For the entirety of my high school career, I had always been certain that I was going to become a doctor. Being a first-generation Indian American, I come from a long line of doctors, engineers, and lab researchers. The blood of my family runs deep with careers in the fields of mathematics and science. I really hadn’t known any other way — or so I thought.
My decision to opt for the pre-med track was more of a safe choice. I thought, “yeah, pre-med seems right for me,” without really considering what that entails. I mean, I was always a very STEM oriented student, but I also did well in humanities and literature courses. I merely chose to focus on the science and math grades because those were the “significant” classes in my mind.
This kind of closed-off mindset made me forget the side of me that loved all things writing, and I didn’t realize the effect it had on me.
After one semester of college, however, I began to rethink the entirety of my career path, and I realized how little I actually knew about what I wanted to pursue for the rest of my life. I also recognized how quickly I made the decision to pursue pre-med and how steadfast I was in this path, ultimately leaving me oblivious to any other opportunities.
Throughout my rhetoric class, however, it became clearer and clearer that my mind and, most importantly, my heart was not invested in the pre-med program. As much as I wanted to succeed, I just didn’t like it.
I finally said “enough is enough;” I didn’t want to follow a career path that is someone else’s dream, not mine.
It was certainly not easy, and I most definitely felt that I was going to fall into the stereotype of “Business by Christmas.” Part of me also felt like I was disappointing my family and all the hopes and dreams they had planned for me.
When I finally made the switch, I realized I was no longer pretending to be something I’m not, and I felt free of the pressures that came with the stereotype of Indians becoming doctors. Thankfully, my parents were supportive, making me realize that I had no reason to be afraid of failure.
Now, I am a sophomore pursuing my passion of learning about the workings of the inner mind by majoring in psychology, while also having the opportunity to share stories that need to be heard through pursuing a major in journalism. I can confidently say: “I have no regrets.”